Friday, March 13, 2020
5 Things No One Tells You About Being a Female Breadwinner
5 Things No One Tells You About Being a Female Breadwinner While wage parity between men and women remains a work in progress in the U.S., the percentage of female breadwinners (defined as the primary or sole earner of income in a household) has steadily risen in recent years. In fact, it jumped from 37 percent in 2000 to 49 percent in 2018.Does this mean were moving toward more workforce equality as a whole? Not quite. This changing trend is in part due to the growing number of single-mom families and the decrease in married couples heading households.And as these dynamics shift, its important to recognize that theres a lot more to breadwinning than simply earning more money. Here are five unexpected social consequences that come with being your households breadwinner.1. Youll run into unfair social expectations and likely feel a bit guilty.In spite of the shift in breadwinning statistics, traditional gender expectations that men serve as their households primary earner by default still prevail. And chances are, if you happen to be a female breadwinner, youll face these gender norms on a regular basis. That might be during small talk with a neighbor or colleague, hearing casual remarks from friends and family, or even simply through indirect forms of social pressure.For instance, former hedge fund investment manager Chelsea Brennan described feeling guilty as a breadwinning mom, saying, Seeing pictures of other moms in my mom groups snuggling with their toddlers for afternoon naps rips me to shreds Im always trying to hustle to be the best mom, the best employee, a loving wife and there just isnt enough time in the day.2. Your health may be affected for the worse.Since the responsibility of earning for your household falls upon you, you may feel intense pressure to work longer hours than necessary. Those with less of a financial cushion may even feel the need to take up a second job, leading to fatigue and exhaustion.Needless to say, this can have a deleterio us long-term impact on your health. In a study by University College London researchers, people who spent over 55 hours a week working were at greater risk for a heart attack and stroke compared to those who worked 35 to 40 hours per week.But thats not all. As the breadwinner of your household, your mental well-being may also be compromised. How? You may feel more stress and anxiety about making ends meet, and as a result, be more prone to depression.3. Youll be expected to pay for everything.Unfortunately, your earning power in a household may come with an expectation that youll be paying by defaultwhether thats at a restaurant with friends or while youre casually grocery shopping.If youre the sole income earner, this makes sense. However, if your partner has a salary of their own, this expectation makes it easy to feel slighted or even taken advantage of. This can strain your relationship with your partner, and even with family members who are aware of how much you earn. As busine ss coach Stacy Caprio explains, you may have to turn family members down by saying the family is not going to spend money on their request.4. You might feel like a parent toward your partner.Unfortunately, the financial responsibility that comes with breadwinning just might make you feel like a parent or babysitter to your partner.I remember reading somewhere that a stay-at-home dad wanted $70/hour guitar lessons and his wife telling him it didnt fit their budget, Tony Arevalo from Carsurance recalls.In an ideal world, you and your partner would be equals in handling financial matters, including budgeting. So for one spouse to need to ask permission from the other, Arevalo says, Its quite childish for the husband to ask, especially if you consider him to be a grownup thats able to understand the mere notion of budgeting.5. You may feel entitled to more control over your household finances.According to Adina Mahalli, founder of Enlightened Reality, As the breadwinner, you might begin questioning your spouses spending. This could create a tense family dynamic and cause tiffs or even blowouts.But the question of whether you should or shouldnt actually have more control over your household financesits a contentious point.Some people believe that the breadwinnershould get more say in how a households finances are managed others disagree and suggest maintaining an equal partnership in spite of who earns what. Regardless of which you believe, its well worth discussing your views with your partner before combining your finances.
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